Many South Africans and tourists flock to Cape Town to experience the an array of fun and memorable activities on offer, as well as the beautiful places to explore. Sometimes, however, there may be a pre-existing idea of what places or activities might be like and the reality can often be vastly different.

 

1. The Company Gardens

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The Company Gardens in the Cape CBD is certainly a must-visit, but nothing can prepare you for the level of squirrel and pigeon gangsterism that awaits you.

Most people know squirrels and pigeons for their timid nature; and expect them to run or fly away when approached. Make sure you’re ready for the exact opposite if you’re visiting the Company Gardens for the first time. Squirrels approach you on arrival as if they’re waiting for you to pay an entrance fee and pigeons crowd around you waiting for a chance to snap up something edible that is dropped or simply held for too long. There’s safety in numbers, theirs… not yours.

 

2. Hikes in Cape Town

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You often hear about the beautiful landscapes of Cape Town and the must-do hiking spots, like Lions Head.

You expect serene and peaceful routes but often the trails in the Mother City can be a little over crowded and more of a challenge than you expect. Your legs begin to ache, your breath gets short and a strange wheezing sound starts escaping your mouth with every step.

The route lasts too long and you get lost a few more times than you’d like to admit along the way. Before you know it you’re dying on the way up and dead on the way down, but at least you can be laid to rest in a place with a beautiful view.

 

3. Beaches in Cape Town

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You lather on some sunscreen and prepare your best bathing suit for a day on the beach.

You spend the next hour grappling with your urge to swim and having to sacrifice all feeling in your body. The water looks so inviting but if it touches the tips of your toes, a cold shiver runs down your back and sends you scurrying away to find a warm patch of sand.

At this point a simple walk on the beach while you resist being blown away by the abrasive winds will suffice.

 

4. Long Street

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Long Street is a unique ecosystem to say the very least. The day time trade brings visitors delicious toasted sandwiches, strong cups of coffee or interesting stores to browse, but at nightfall –  much like Silent Hill –  an alarm sounds and the street seems to transform. An overflowing amount of alcoholic beverages become exceedingly available as well as people living life on the edge. And it’s every man for himself at this point.

 

5. The Cape Winelands

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Wine drinking is on a different level in Cape Town than anywhere else. If you’re going to a wine tasting in the Cape Winelands for the first time, make sure you prepare to taste more wine than you ever thought was possible. The wine tastes so good that you can’t stop drinking it, but very soon you can’t taste anything at all and the sips, swirls and smells blur together just like your vision as you continue to drink away. Forget driving there, and the wine tram won’t take you home either.

 

 

Disclaimer: Friday Funny articles are meant to be comic relief and are not intended to offend anyone, especially our beloved Capetonians. Please do not take any words written here to heart.

Picture: Unsplash

Article written by

Aimee Pace

Aimee is an avid gamer, enthusiastic yogi and animal lover. Addicted to anime, coffee and plant-based meals. Current favourite pastimes include, sewing and learning Japanese.