After a few days of heavy rain in Cape Town, there are signs of new beginnings everywhere with Spring just a few weeks away. On Saturday morning, we woke to my excited daughter shouting through the house that there were baby bunnies in the rabbit hutch writes Gasant Abarder in a new #SliceofGasant.
Abarder, who recently launched his book, Hack with a Grenade, is among the country’s most influential media voices. Catch his weekly column here, exclusive to Cape {town} Etc.
Fifi had given birth to five little wrinkly babies overnight. My wife Laylaa Abarder swore she heard a loud noise like a scream emanating from the rabbits in the backyard on Friday night and decided that must have been the moment of birth. Laylaa’s maternal side kicked in as she sprang to work – putting on gloves to move the bunny babies onto a fluffy blanket. She then moved dad bunny Tayo out of the enclosure and into a temporary home.
Mom Fifi and her babies were moved to my daughter’s bedroom right under the wall heater. I was ordered to keep watch so that she doesn’t suffocate them under the blanket that had now become their nest while Laylaa went to the pet shop for supplies. I googled how mommy bunnies care for their babies and realised they had a bad rep as parents.
I decided to let nature take over and not interfere. Four days later I am happy to report that Fifi is doing a great job.
I am not happy to report that the animal count in our home now outnumbers humans. There are now 15 pets, all told – including eight rabbits, four cats and three dogs. Somehow, everyone gets along.
I am not happy to report that pet food costs more than human food. I am not happy to report too that I thought Fifi was a male rabbit. Apparently, he is a she.
(Also, why was I the only one who thought Fifi was a boy?)
Google is an excellent source to calm your fears and anxieties about animal parenting and pet care. Google is not an excellent source to calm your fears and anxieties about child parenting and care.
I’ve been winging it and have come to the conclusion that there is no manual for human parenting. It is a just series of threats and bribes, I’ve discovered! Jokes aside, it is about nurturing and not employing a one-size-fits-all approach. It is hardly scientific either; what you put into the relationship you will get out.
It’s a bit like being the government. Don’t do their chores and their homework for them. But reward them for good deeds and punish them for not-so-good deeds. In other words, create a conducive environment for them to thrive (SA government take note!). Know when to back off and know when to step in when necessary.
I find that watching them doing their extra-murals is perhaps the most challenging. And the signs you see up at school sports fields suggest that I’m not alone. In an irreverent way, schools have taken to putting up signs to help parents with their behaviour. Don’t shout at the ref, don’t try to coach from the sidelines and don’t put undue pressure on the kids.
I was refereeing an under-7 football match before the COVID-19 lockdown and had to stop the game because an adult was shouting abuse at one of the young players. I had a quiet word with the gentleman suggesting that he should rather shout encouragement and that if he couldn’t I was going to ask him to leave the grounds.
Children are like sponges. They emulate our behaviour and will test our resolve by pushing boundaries. If you give in to a tantrum, for example, that will become the modus operandi to get their way. If you live the behaviour you want to see in them, they will follow suit. If you’re a bully and use violence to enforce the rules at home, they will in all likelihood do the same at school and in play.
I was surprised to learn from social media engagements just how many parents still use hidings to enforce the law. Apart from it being illegal, it is highly questionable that corporal punishment in the home and schools actually work.
Instead, we can all take a leaf out of Madame Fifi’s book. She is a nurturer who has instinctively increased her appetite and nutritional uptake to ensure her babies are well nourished. She covers them with the blanket and knows when to give them air. She doesn’t suffocate them – literally and figuratively.
Let’s use this season of rebirth and new beginnings to nurture the next generation. Their music, I’ve been forced to learn, is not really that bad after all!
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Picture: Gasant Abarder