Christmas is associated with words like “cheer”, “family and friends”, “food”, “festivity” and a plethora of others, mostly with the intent to be warm and hearty.
However, something we should talk about more in my opinion is that these are not warm and fuzzy inducing terms for everyone, writes Cape {town} Etc’s Ashleigh Nefdt). For some, the feelings that arise are synonymous with the sensation of tangled Christmas lights in our stomachs.
This exploration of ‘festive-inspired anxiety’ has very little to do with wanting to be a Grinch. Some of us anxious gingerbread people adore the season as much as the next person, but can’t enjoy it quite the same way. The crux of the matter is the pressure this time of year places like coal under a Christmas tree.
For the people who can’t relate to this phenomenon but might know someone who does – step into the anxious mind’s (now festive wrapped) shoes. Imagine if crowds were a lot to handle on an ordinary day. Now with the festive frenzy, that feeling is like putting the volume on full. If food is already something that causes a punch of stress, then best believe the holidays are like being boxed by Muhammad Ali. If family and friend dynamics were already the engine revving for some people, then the festive period and all its obligation pressures, or feeling isolated are equivalent to the cars that cruise down camps bay fast and furiously.
The good news for those who understand the hard to navigate feelings of this festive assignment is that we’re not alone. And even better? It’s okay.
Mental health doesn’t take a holiday. So, here’s a gentle game plan:
There are four stressor points for people who experience festive season anxiety, according to newvisionpsychology. Environmental, financial, relationship-based and emotional triggers. Learning how to move with these stresses, rather than against them help the holidays seem far less daunting.
Now, to break these down, here’s what each stressor point pertains to:
- Environmental stressors are to do with feeling rushed and routines being off.
- Financial speaks to the very real aspect of the festive season that big companies like to make us forget are there, or capitalise on with their “deals” that aren’t always actually “deals” at all. That being, affordability.
- Relationship pressures can range anywhere from feeling pressured to see family members you normally wouldn’t, feeling odd for not having a “normal” family set up, relationship pressure as it can seem that everyone is either locked down in love or loaded on living their single best life, and you may feel you’re not on either side of the coin.
- Emotional triggers can prescribe to all of the above, and other triggers, including bad festive season experiences in your past.
According to psychologists, some helpful ways to charter these waters are:
- Control what you can
(Whatever this looks like to you.)
For some, it’s whipping out the old notebook and making some to-do lists. From scheduling time to see others, to gift lists and all the way to things you’d actually like to do for yourself, or need to. Make budgets. Plan for homemade gifts if you have to. Writing it all out piece by piece makes it look smaller and more possible. Some sort of planning and the act of writing these plans down can take what’s on your mind and give it somewhere else to live in a space you can control.
- Give yourself the gift of routine
Routine helps us in the chaos, and still doing things we’d normally do can help us breathe. It’s okay to fit other things around what is important to you. It’s important not to prioritise gift shopping over something very essential to your wellbeing (like a therapy appointment for example, or a class you’d usually attend).
- Set boundaries like others set plans
Maybe this means saying no to some festive events because you actually need to work and can’t physically do both no matter how much you’d like to. Maybe this means saying no to time with relatives you’d rather not see because the toll of the experience can be far worse than the act of saying no. Maybe this means saying no to a big New Years’ event if you have health and safety concerns. Setting boundaries is paramount to alleviating stress in the moment and post-stress too.
- Open Up like a Christmas present
Explaining how you’re feeling to people and what the festive world looks like to you can help people see where you’re coming from.
- Do the festive things you actually like
Remember when you were a kid, and the best part of the season was going to look at Christmas lights? Or staring at the tree just because it was marvellous? Maybe it was staying in your PJs and watching Christmas movies in the morning. Reigniting that childhood wonder, when the world was seen through our child-like eyes, can remind us of a feeling we thought we’d forgotten.
- Shift your perspective on the festive season.
It doesn’t have to look the way society has presented it to us to be good. Read that again.
- Give yourself a break
It’s been almost two years of madness. The world has changed, and this December is an accumulation of a two-year rollercoaster of emotions. Let it be okay. You haven’t made a mistake because you feel stressed. Go off your phone if you can. Throw it into the ocean of distance. You don’t need to feel even more pressurised by the season thanks to social media. Forgive yourself for feeling exhausted on this rollercoaster. Take it each day at a time – it’s a cliche saying for a reason because it actually helps.
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Picture: CatDancing/ Flickr