An introspective social media page is giving South Africans a glance at what the after hours in a hospital look like, and it’s thought-provoking.
Our perspectives of hospitals, as the public collective are naturally diverse. For some, they are a place of healing. For others, a destination of chaos, of trauma. As our writer expresses, “hospitals are for the most part a place people try to avoid.”
But what about the people who actually spend the majority of their time in the hallowing walls? The Midnight Diaries gives us a personal glance into a world of which most of us know very little about.
The writer, our literary doctor, is one of a Paediatric specialisation. She’s been practicing medicine for over 15 years. In her words “that means for 15 years people have trusted me with their health, and even more with the health of their children.” The page began unofficially in 2016 as just a hashtag- #themidnightdiaries.
However, in 2020, it garnered curious traction as COVID-19 dominated the world. The Midnight Diaries was, and has been able to, offer the personal to a multifaceted pandemic- all within the after-hours setting.
From tribulations in the workplace and the importance of respect, to the hardships of working at the front of the frontline workers during the pandemic’s toughest bouts, and all the way to the conceptualisation of bringing a child into the world and the thoughts we don’t express, the anonymous doctor has let us into a world with authenticity, and perspective. The offering is the light and the dark, the suffering and the healing- through the eyes of the one who sees all.
Of all the pages’ posts I read through, there are a few that stuck out like poetry, writes Cape {town} Etc’s Ashleigh Nefdt. As someone who values both truth and literary canvasing, I find the page brilliant, and eye-opening.
I’ve included a few excerpts that captivated me personally.
On the love for a child.
“Someone was describing to me today how they felt the moment their first child was born. How suddenly in that moment everything that seemed to matter so very much suddenly had no bearing. How the things that were completely overwhelming and daunting paled in significance. This little life was everything. Before they are born you might fear that your love will not be pure enough to chose this child over yourself. But once they’re born you realize the opposite. You are unable to chose yourself over this child.”
I don’t have children. Admittedly I’m quite far away from that chapter in my life. I’ve never been baby crazy either, and never really understood people who were. However, for the first time potentially ever, Sarah’s writing gave me an inkling toward a different kind of love, and made me feel this overwhelming sense of protection for a child I do not have. That’s powerful writing.
On Covid-19.
“It feels crazy to be bleating the same bleat. 18 months later. we’ve been through so much it feels immature to still want to talk about it. But it’s just not stopping. I realized at the start of this third wave that I was having almost like a ptsd type of reaction from the first 2 waves. And yet it’s not post traumatic
I guess I was foolish. Or naïve. Or overly optimistic. It seemed there was evidence of reasonable scientific coherence to suggest that the peak of this third wave of Covid would not be as high as the first and second waves. So somehow I thought that this wave would not be as bad. As a result I was completely unprepared for the wave of grief that accompanies the wave of infections. The number of funeral notices crossing my social media feed started increasing and I suddenly started to feel that tightness in my chest again.
I’ve never been a doctor- and I’ve never had to endure what healthcare workers experience, not even close. However, in her words, I saw a version of myself that resonated. Extended empathy is one thing, but being able to put someone in your shoes, as tired as they may be, is another.
On Children’s rights.
To be a health care worker in child health one has to be a child rights champion. It has to be about more than a blood gas or a chest x-ray. More than a treatment course and adherence targets. More than the acute emergent situation. Or even the chronic medicated one. Somehow amidst all the other wailing sirens this one has to be the loudest.
On philosophy.
You don’t need to frighten me to gain my respect. Neither do you need to wow or amaze me. Your mere existence bids that I observe you with moral deference. That means the same for me. In all circumstances and from all fellow travellers I have a rightful claim to moral consideration. If we all were to give respect to everyone in all circumstances we would also get respect from everyone in all circumstances. Pay it forward.
For the curious, I highly recommend giving Sarah’s page a look. You can find the link to it here:
Facebook: The Midnight Diaries
Pictures: The Midnight Diaries