It’s been nearly two years of an angst-ridden existence with COVID-19. But South Africans have been subjected to much more. We are indeed a resilient people, writes Gasant Abarder in a new #SliceofGasant, but we need to take a leaf out of Portugal’s book.
Abarder, who recently launched his book, Hack with a Grenade, is among the country’s most influential media voices. Catch his weekly column here, exclusive to Cape {town} Etc.
Time, tide, and pandemics, wait for no man. But in South Africa we love a challenge. It wasn’t enough that we experienced unprecedented fatalities of fellow South Africans taken by COVID-19. No, we have the wherewithal to further engage rolling blackouts, record fuel hikes and even a few kidnappings.
The year 2021 will go down as one of our longest decades on the heels of the century that was 2020. It just won’t let up.
What is up with having 12 months in a year with 365 days (sometimes 366 and sometimes with an added quarter)? What was Pope Gregory XIII – he of the Gregorian Calendar – thinking when he designed it?
Bottom line? I’m tired. We’re all tired. We, South Africans, put up with a lot and we mostly do it to each other.
I mean, why would the Expresso TV show mess with our already fragile mental wellbeing by calling an oversized vegan (nogal) boerewors roll a gatsby? Don’t they know we have feelings too and that when you prick us we also bleed?
Andre de Ruyter of Eskom goes on live TV to explain why we should call blackouts loadshedding. Really, bra? The only good thing that has come from you running that hot mess is that you’ve given us a legit excuse to leave Zoom meetings early. “Oh, I have loadshedding at 12…”
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And Miss South Africa, what beauty pageant school did you go to? Did you miss the class on “beauty with a purpose”? Are you the only Miss (insert nation here) contestant who doesn’t care much for world peace? By the way, they were talking about peace, not peas at beauty school.
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You see, throughout all this mess we take the hits and we get up, pop an Urbanol, and go again. We’re South African, damn it!
Just like Andre de Ruyter, Mark Boucher and FW de Klerk – the latter, taking some of apartheid’s most heinous atrocities to the grave – we just don’t quit! And sometimes, as in FW’s case, even if it kills us.
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And you know what? I wouldn’t want it any other way. There is never a dull moment here in Mzansi. It is this momentum and the appetite for sheer madness that pushes our zombie-like selves to Dezemba!
Political parties were scratching their heads as to why there was such a poor turnout for the recent local government elections a fortnight ago. Duh?! You ran it on a Monday! Had I been running for mayor, I would promise a moratorium on Mondays. No more Mondays until further notice. Haven’t our people suffered enough?
What about making afternoon naps mandatory in your manifesto? That would have gotten the most apathetic voter to the polls. You bunch of rookies!
Portugal has the right idea.
It has been reported that in that country, no employer may contact an employee outside of working hours. Also, if you have a kid you need to work from home until that kid is eight years old. What did Cyril do? He took away the dop, skyf (and then the lights) instead and he wonders why the ANC dipped under 50 percent in the elections.
Read also: Portugal’s new law bans bosses from texting employees after-hours
Nee, kyk, ons mense is moeg! Nothing is sacred anymore – not even debit orders. These days the debit orders soema go off on a Sunday or a public holiday. Our overdrafts are maxed out, our medical aid savings are depleted and our tanks are running on empty.
The answer? Make it Dezemba now! How can we place such a heavy burden on Rassie, Siya, Makazole and the Bok front row to keep us buoyed until the Big Days? It’s just not fair. They’re rugby players not miracle workers.
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Picture: Unsplash