About three years ago, Gasant Abarder took on a role that would consume his days during the football season as he plotted to establish football at a primary school where girls had never played in its 75-year existence.
A group of history makers have carved a legacy for others to follow, but taught him so much about life and courage along the way.
On Friday afternoon, when Golden Grove Primary School in Rondebosch usually play their school matches, I was on my way when a parent sent a video on the parents’ chat group that the captain and vice-captain were running the warm-up, even before the coaches had arrived. It further confirmed that I had made the right call to step down as coach last week; my work here was done.
But dial back to 2022, when during a school Annual General Meeting, my wife Laylaa stood up and asked why there wasn’t girls’ soccer at the school. Other primary schools were already well into the sport and excelling, even embarking on international tours.
The principal, Dawn Petersen, the school governing body and a newly appointed sports head, Shane Lewis, were true to their word. Two under-13 girls’ teams, an A and B team, would be established the following year, starting with a few friendly matches. A coach was needed, and because the Abarders had agitated, yours truly was entrusted with the job.
I had experience at the time, coaching as an assistant as a parent for a community club’s U10 girls’ team, participating in an all-boys’ league.
I was heartened by the response from the girls to trial for the two teams. It was a simple exercise of seeing who had an aptitude for the game and then finding a goalkeeper out of a reluctant bunch of around 30 girls for this key role.
One condition from Mr Lewis was that he would select the team captain, and to my consternation, he chose my daughter, Misha. This was a nightmare because, at the best of times, it is impossible to separate the role of dad and coach. And predictably, Misha started calling me coach at home.
In fairness, Misha was the natural choice, having then played about six years of football from the age of 3 and about five years at club level. None of the other girls who trialled had playing experience.
Our first opponents were the polished Pinelands North Primary school – a team to beat, who dominated sides. But our girls did extremely well and were only beaten 2-1.
We were on a high but were quickly brought down to earth in later friendlies by some big losses. I had to develop a style of play for the 30-minute games that focused on scoring goals and not pretty football. We started winning and entered our first proper season in 2024 with big expectations.
The strategy worked and we managed some big scalps – apart from beating Pinelands North and Wynberg Girls’ Junior School. I sent three girls to the Metro Central District Schools’ squad, and all three made the cut.
But as a man in his late 40s, I’ve learned so much more from these girls than they’ll ever learn from me. Things like courage, determination, will, hard work and perseverance.
We unearthed a gem of a footballer in Zainab Chothia, who, as a winger, scored 7 goals in 8 games at the Sun Valley Primary School U13 girls’ tournament two weekends ago. She was crowned top goalscorer and helped the team win the Shield section of the tournament.
Misha has developed into a leader, playing as a centreback in front of two talented goalkeepers in Tayyibah Moerat and Trisha Adams and defenders like Suri Behardien and Noxxiey Bikausi. Noxxiey, in particular, and Tadi Naketsana have matured immensely as players and young girls. It was especially satisfying when Tadi smashed two quality goals – her first for Golden Grove – in our latest match in a 6-1 win
Thanks to the heroics of these players and the likes of last season’s top goalscorer Khloe Gabler, Lana Udemans, Aalia Behardien, Zia Laattoe and Areej Mohamed, there is unprecedented interest in the game. So much so that an U11 side is in the pipeline.
Why am I stepping away? A new coach joined this season who is accomplished and qualified and has the girls playing attractive and a winning style of football, and not my boof, bash and score style. I can take them no further, and Donwyn Hermans is going to take us to the next level.
When I see grown men mocking women’s football on social media (and there is quite a bit of this), all I see is a betrayal of your own insecurities. The girls’ game is growing, and to the young women of the U13A girls’ squad of Golden Grove Primary School: thank you and your parents for trusting me and showing up as the best versions of yourselves every time.
You’ve taught this old fart a thing or two, and if you’re a sample of the next generation of women, then we are in good hands.
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Picture: Supplied
