“Just remember, Cape Town is pretty cliquey.”
Before moving to the Mother City, there were a few common phrases, which I, like many others, were foretold.
Laced amongst the oohs and ahs that were staples in conversations about Cape Town, there was always one phrase that snuck its way into every conversation, writes Cape {town} Etc’s Ashleigh Nefdt.
You guessed it. The ‘cliquey nature.’ An allocated personality trait of the city. I always found myself wondering why that was so. It isn’t like Joburg is void of cliques or London or Rome for that matter. Cliques are a part of the nature of social creatures. (I promise I won’t turn this into an anthropological thesis).
The question that always stuck with me was: why is Cape Town targeted?
I decided to observe the situation upon my movements to the big 021. Admittedly, I knew some people in town, had a roommate and colleagues, so I was hardly the perfect lone ranger observer, but nonetheless, I set out upon Observation Express. Over time, and through experience and conversations about the clique tendency, I’ve drawn some conclusions of my own.
In other parts of South Africa, if we’re being honest, there isn’t nearly as much to do, and if there is, it definitely isn’t for free. Thus, people rely on each other, and so social culture becomes pivotal. I’ve lived in Joburg and Pretoria, and I can confirm that when you don’t necessarily have an ocean to enjoy, a mountain in your backyard to climb or sea creatures to marvel at, you rely on others for your experiences.
Even if you are monied, you’re still so ingrained in a social culture that it largely becomes your essence.
In Cape Town, because there’s so much to do, the focus shifts from people being the experience, to people sharing your experiences.
Recently, I came across a Reddit post that asked the same question regarding Capetonians’ ‘cliqueness’, and I found it incredibly interesting.
It was written as follows:
“Are Cape Townians as cliquey as everyone says?”
If you’re having a chuckle at the spelling, so did some other users.
“He’s not going to get far in this town making mistakes like that,” SouthListening wrote in light of the Cape Townians reference.
Nonetheless, the asker, QuietMassiv3 was trying to ascertain whether the ‘cliquey nature’ was true and people were quick to offer opinions, answers toward the cliquey tendency, as well as advice. This is what they said.
- Capetonians just don’t need people as much.
“I’m born and bred Capetonian,” wrote user Prestigious_Cat1522. “But lived overseas for 13 years. When we returned after such a long break, many of our earlier friends had also left ct, plus we moved to a different part of the city.”
“To my surprise, I actually did find Ctonians quite difficult to break into, but it may also depend on the area.”
“What I eventually figured out is that Ctonians aren’t unfriendly, they just don’t need people as much.”
Offering advice, the user continued: “Join a running or cycling club, get outdoors and join Ctonians in doing the things they love, and you’ll figure it out from there.”
-Prestigious_Cat1522
- There’s so much to do in the city, that everyone is preoccupied
“Capetonian here, and yes, I think they are quite cliquey. One of the reasons I think this is the case is that there’s just so much to do in this city, so everyone is preoccupied doing hobbies.”
-bigben0102
- Less of a braai culture
“The big difference and the reason for the ‘cliquey’ representation is that Capetonians don’t have as big a braai culture as you’d find in places like Joburg. This is mainly because there are a lot of other things happening during the weekend, going surfing, walking up the mountain, wine farms, cycling etc…”
“…In joburg people invite everyone to braais all the time.”
Offering advice, the braai culture observer wrote: “Don’t expect people to invite you round, or if you invite others round, don’t do it during the day. Make friends during an activity..ask people to take you to their favorite wine farm.”
-Kronedal
- Integration isn’t as prevalent
“For me, it comes down to apartheid spatial planning..” lexylexylexy wrote.
Another user wrote that mixed groups hanging out is something rare, making things seem ‘cliquey’.
“it’s rare to see very varied mixed groups hanging out. You can go to a space where different races are frequenting, but they aren’t mingling. It was one of the biggest things I noticed when I moved from Joburg,”
-cerebrallandscapes.
- Note: A lot of the friends you’ll make probably won’t even be from Cape Town originally
“Most of my friends are from jozi or Europe, and I’m as capetonian as they come.”
-gwenixia
This is a bit of a relief for those worried about the ‘typical’ capetonian clique. Not everyone falls into the category, and because our city is one that attracts people from all over the world, you do have options when it comes to people.
Take courage where you can, and if you’re looking for a conversation starter for a potential friend, maybe try “so, do you think Cape Town is cliquey?”
Picture: Art by afrillustrations
