Ari Seirlis is an exceptional human being. In his 39th year of being a C5 quadriplegic, his journey is a profound example of the power of mental fortitude this Mental Health Awareness Month. Going beyond the physical, Ari’s story hauls invisible impairment from the shadows… on two wheels of fire.
After his accident in 1985, he was given a life expectancy of a couple of years. He is now one of the longest-living quadriplegics – ever.
Stop thinking “what happened”. It’s time to change the narrative on how we approach alternatively-abled people. Here, we’re going beyond the physical.
Although there are many “inconveniences of quadriplegia” that cannot be seen, the ones that are, are often front and centre. “People’s eyes are the most discriminating thing,” he said. But the battle of the mind so often goes unnoticed.
In an interview with Cape {town} Etc, he unpacks how, after the initial physical healing, re-entering the world on two wheels became a matter of the mind – or mind over matter. Whichever way you slice it, it took guts.
A reinvention of self:
His ability to overcome adversity, instil positivity, and “never call it quits on life” are but a few reasons to celebrate his journey this month, and impart some profound advice along the way.
Of course, there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to mental health. But there’s both healing and education in sharing. If you pick up something along the way that speaks to you, or helps you feel less alone in your own struggles, that’s what’s important.
So, where did Ari start? By finding his feet… He giggled at the pun.
With a boarding school and army background, Ari was able to put the “why me” behind him and focus on the “what I’ve got”. He practised what had been instilled through experience: resilience, with a dash of strategy.
In real military fashion, he highlighted four steps in his blueprint to remaster his independence:
1. Find your feet: “who am I?”.
2. Find your “what”.
3. Find your “how”.
4. Find your “why”: this is purpose-giving.
When challenged with the “who am I” phenomenon – a massive question many spend a lifetime grappling with, and one which might not have a distinct answer – Ari’s response was raw and honest.
Healing is deeply personal, and for him, “finding his feet” and re-establishing his sense of self meant discovering what skills he had, and how he could show society what he’s made of.
Beginning ‘step one’ could be as simple as doing things that bring you joy. Ari learned how to drive and write all over again, to name just two things.
He acknowledged that his approach sounds simple, but there’s hard work required at every level. Healing is a marathon – you have to decide to put in the grind.
That being said, no one should feel alone. Entering the world after his accident came with “more rejection than attention”. Ari established a strong support network: friends, family, and people he could relate to.
At your own pace:
Healing is messy work. It’s uncomfortable and your ‘best self’ isn’t always on display. Sometimes, we hurt the people we care about along the way. When asked if he had any regrets, he touched on this point.
“You’ve got to focus on yourself,” Ari adds. The old saying rings true: you can’t pour water from an empty cup. In order for us as humans to effectively take care of others, we must first take care of ourselves. Then, when the drought ends (and it can), you might be so inclined as to help others overcome what you have before.
A life of service:
Ari is the former CEO of the Quadriplegic Association of South Africa (QASA). He’s fought for the rights of the disabled in our country, he’s mentored, inspired, and helped so many. He has dedicated his life to serving people with disabilities. Perhaps, this is Ari’s ‘step four’: his purpose.
In your own words:
A quadriplegic capable of moving mountains, Ari Seirlis has ripped apart and redefined perceptions of strength – opening the floor for greater discussions around suffering unseen. His story is an ode to the importance of going beyond the physical, and shifting the focus to matters of the mind.
The 2022 theme for Mental Health Awareness Month is “In My Own Words”. Read Ari’s book, available on Amazon or email [email protected] to order a copy.
Mental Health and disability in South Africa:
Many suffer in silence from invisible impairment: poor mental health. And it’s deadly.
South Africa has an estimated 23 suicides and 460 attempted suicides a day, the South Africa Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) announced in 2021.
Also read: 19 suicides in less than 2 years – are we missing the signs?
According to the Annual Mental State of the World Report from Sapien Labs, South Africa ranks as one of the worst countries regarding mental health.
Mental illness is largely stigmatized and considered taboo in many cultures. Cassey Chambers, Operations Director at SADAG, told The South African College of Applied Psychology: “In Zulu, there is not even a word for ‘depression’ – it’s basically not deemed a real illness in the African culture.”
This cycle is fuelled by a devastating lack of resources.
SADAG also reported that as many as one in six South Africans suffer from anxiety, depression or substance-use problems. This does not include other serious conditions like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. People with disabilities have been shoved into this same, neglected boat.
Ari noted in a farewell interview for QASA, reported by Rolling Inspiration, how saddened he is by the terrible conditions that quadriplegics and paraplegics have had to survive in, and the shocking lack of service delivery in health and social development.
Fact: adults with disabilities report experiencing frequent mental distress almost five times more often than adults without disabilities.
“Only 27% of South Africans reporting severe mental illness ever receive treatment. This means that nearly three-quarters of these sufferers are not accessing any form of mental health care at all.”
Chambers believes that part of the solution to this “mental health crisis” is to incorporate both western medicine and traditional healing.
She sees traditional healers, along with local nurses, counsellors and coaches at the forefront of fighting the mental-illness pandemic in South Africa.
With our economy in the gutter, the implementation of any grand (or even grass-roots level) plans seems dire.
But hopelessness isn’t an option. Taking a page out of Ari’s book, or flipping the script, let’s replace “what happened’s” with “how are you doing’s”.
Also read:
Suicide at funeral leads to calls for better mental health treatment for cops
Pictures: Supplied
