People are musing whether 30-year-olds should be dating a 19-year-old, and the opinions are an interesting plate of food for thought.
It all started when a Reddit user u/hazelnutmacchiato1, asked a question that got mind’s churning.
‘What is your opinion on a 30-year-old dating a 19-year-old?’
Here are some opinions.
‘It’s not the age gap, it’s the mind gap’
“The years between 18 and 23 are the first time most people have their first taste of freedom and responsibility. Everything is developing so fast and life feels like it’s flying. Then usually somewhere between 23 and 25 most people find their footing and understand their needs and wants.
That isn’t to say it can’t work out between a 19 and 30-year-old but successful relationships between those ages are usually outliers.”
‘The experience gap’
Being that young (19) is a transformative time in people’s lives, as some users pointed out, and a factor to consider is the experience gap.
“That life experience gap is a huge factor.”
“A 40-year-old dating a 29-year-old is way different than a 30-year-old dating some that is 19 in most instances,” said one user (actuaryba). This again goes back to the transformative notion of being in your early adulthood.
“I had been working full time since I was 17, living on my own. But there is no substitute for life experience. I look back and realize how much I was manipulated by him without even realising it.”
Some people felt like dating someone at such a tender age is like robbing them of a younger and more free time in their lives.
“It feels like [you]re stealing someone’s youth.”
Prepare for a lot of “when I was your age” tellings
Some people expressed that in this particular age dynamic, you may hear a lot of “when I was your age.”
There are outliers
“I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 30. we’ve been together for 21 years, married for 15. We had a 2.5 year engagement. we are definitely the “outliers” but when you find your best friend, age is irrelevant.”
Maturity is also a concept
Some people expressed that being in your late 20s/early 30s doesn’t necessarily equate you to being more mature. Maturity and life experiences are factors to consider too.
“29 and I’m wearing a sock with a hole in the heel because I keep forgetting to throw it away”
“When I was 22, I met a 16-year-old girl. I was freshly out of college and she was a HS junior. I always viewed her as just a kid, even as she eventually grew older, met a guy, married him, and had kids. In my eyes this woman was “way too young.”
10 years later, when I was 32, I met another woman. This one was 25. I had been working for a while and she had been out of college for a few years and was just getting her “adult footings.” We dated, married, and eventually had kids together. We’re still happily married. This woman I never viewed as “too young,” even though she was a year younger than the first woman up there.
Why, even though the age gap was bigger? Because of our respective mental ages and experiences when we met.”
Some people mused that the minds of different generations think differently, and generational thinking is also worth noting.
“Honestly, the generational gap is a huge thing. Our minds think about things differently.”
Picture: Pinterest/ Our World For You