United States president Donald Trump had some less than kind words for us Africans. Trump on Thursday questioned why the US would want to have immigrants from African nations, referring to some as “sh*thole countries”. While we roll our eyes back into our sockets, we thought we’d play along and show the Trumpster what a “sh*thole” Cape Town is, here at the tip of Africa.

These are not happy people enjoying Cape Town’s fabulous weather and pristine beaches. These are desperate people, waiting for low tide so they can catch the next rubber ducky, and get the hell out of this “sh*thole”. Credit: Pixabay

 

It may not look like it right now, but most times the animals roam freely in the dusty streets of Cape Town. We’re not that civilised. Credit: Pixabay

 

We’re holding Virat Kohli hostage in our country for a few weeks, while he plays some cricket matches. Virat and his wife Anushka seem to be having an awful time of it, and someone should rescue them.

 

Dear Donald, this is how we travel to work when the trains stop working. Send help! Credit: Pixabay

 

Ok, we admit. This is no Mount Rushmore, but Table Mountain has a certain charm don’t you think, Donald? It being flat (like the Earth) and all. This view is just torture. Credit: Pixabay

 

Visitors to Cape Town are forced to slum it in our “sh*thole”. We just don’t have enough beds in this town, which very often results in absolute strangers sharing a bed. What an atrocity!

 

Our people are not the friendliest. Best you stay, Donald. Credit: Pixabay

 

Made it ✨🇿🇦 _ #capetown #city #lionshead #hike #goodvibes 🙌🏻

A post shared by Thierry Lecomte (@thierry_lecomte) on

Don’t jump! People are this desperate to get out of Cape Town, Donald.

 

This woman is not doing yoga. It’s an ancient, secret sign language, and she’s saying: “Help us, Donald! We can’t stand it here. Not even on one leg.”

 

By the way, we did perform the world’s first heart transplant, Donald. No big deal. Don’t let that detract from your point that this place is a “sh*thole”.

 

What’s your plans for the weekend? Golf?

A post shared by Rondebosch Golf Club (@rondeboschgolfclub) on

We know you love golf, Donald, but spare yourself the torture of playing on one of our God awful golf courses. You can do better.

 

The locals are fat and lazy. Best you stay in the US.

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