At the end of every week the need for alcohol to maintain sanity and forget our problems comes around and so the short era of the various types of Cape Town drunks is ushered in.

Whether you’re at a private party or hitting the town for a night out, chances are a drunk will cross your path and so, to make sure you’re ready for the challenges that lie ahead, give our types of Capetonians drunks list a gander.

 

1. The Dancing Queen or King

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Seemingly drinking shots that lead to the dance floor like bread crumbs, the dancing drunk is always ready to break it down.

Tell-tale quotes include, “This is my favorite song” (at least five times a night) and “Hold my shoes!”

Wherever the music leads the dancing drunk will follow.

 

2. The Generous Drunk

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Giving in all ways whether you want what they have or not. The generous drunk has the drinks you need, advice you need, money you need, everything but the space you need.

Tell-tale quotes include, “I got you man.” and “Here this is for you.”

The generous drunk usually wakes up the next morning wondering where all their money went as well as their jacket.

 

3. The “I Love You” Drunk

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Ahh, the I Love You Drunk, perpetually emotionally attached to all who cross their path and seemingly fueled by the bow of Cupid himself.

Tell-tale quotes include, “I love you” and “You’re my best friend.”

Bringing an endless source of unwanted hugs and emotional connection to your night of partying; until the next morning of course, when all love fades like their memory of the evening before.

 

4. The Loud (Hailer) Drunk

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Heard from across the dance floor even when the bass has already dropped, the Loud Drunk says everything 100 decimals louder than it needs to be said.

Telltale quote include, “Wow!!!” and “What!!!”

Chances are by the end of the night one of your ears is definitely not going to work as well as it used to.

 

5. The Cheap Drunk

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Having a cheap drunk as a friend will definitely save you money on a night out. One or two small fancy drinks are all thats needed to go from posh to sloshed.

Tell-tale quotes include, “I drink all the time” and “This isn’t that strong.”

Most likely to need someone to carry them home at the end of the evening or hold their hair back while they regret their decisions.

 

6. The Aggressive Drunk

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The Aggressive Drunk always goes out in clothes they know they can punch in, because alcohol ignites an inner fire that is only extinguished by unnecessary fighting.

Tell-tale quotes are, “What are you looking at?” and “I work out.”

Most likely to be hurting the next day from more than just a hangover.

 

7. The Sleepy Drunk

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First to pass out before the end of the evening and become the victim of vandalism.

Tell-tale quotes are, “How late is it? and “I woke up really early this morning.”

The Sleepy Drunk almost always wakes up without knowing how they got home and with a few new semi permanent additional to their tattoo collection.

 

Picture: Unsplash

Article written by

Aimee Pace

Aimee is an avid gamer, enthusiastic yogi and animal lover. Addicted to anime, coffee and plant-based meals. Current favourite pastimes include, sewing and learning Japanese.