Joburg local, Ameera Hassen, had a mission when she moved to Cape Town. Like most of us non-native Capetonians, Ameera wanted to make friends and connections in her new home. However, it turned out Ameera wasn’t the only one in the Mother City looking to make the circle bigger. What initially began as an effort to meet new pals one-on-one soon extended to helping groups of strangers turn into friends. Ameera’s charm and openness to seeking friends led to fabulous gatherings she arranged titled “From Strangers to Friends Picnics”, and Cape Town has been obsessed ever since.
Cape {town} Etc’s Ashleigh Nefdt caught up with TikTok’s best friend to discuss the power of TikTok, friendship, post-pandemic social connections, Cape Town stereotypes and picnics that conquer all.
You’re the initiator of the Strangers to Friends Picnic that took TikTok by storm, but before this your journey seemed to be making friends in Cape Town, even on a one-to-one basis. What spurred you to start using TikTok to “grow the circle?”
“What started out to be an effort to make friends in a new city, I was actually unsure in how to go about doing that, especially having a long work week and not really going out to parties and social events. With Instagram I find the reach more condensed whereas TikTok has always had the opportunity to grow in abundance. I am a loyal tiktokker so it was the perfect place to give a “shout-out” to a large group of strangers. Because I thoroughly believed that people would positively respond.”
2. Were you ever nervous about meeting the new people? If so, how did you navigate the nerves?
“Most definitely, a lot of people actually don’t believe it when I say I was insecure and had social anxiety because I consistently tried to grow by moving out of my comfort zone and what a beautiful journey it has been. I always navigated shy tendencies through breath work and emanating confidence and once that initial hurdle was crossed in the early stages, becoming a conversationalist became more natural to me.”
3. After your individual meets, the massive picnics in gorgeous locations began. What was it like being the host of so many strangers?
“It was one of the most rewarding experiences, what started out to grow my friendships to helping other and giving them the opportunity to connect with strangers is so heartwarming. Bringing people together and seeing solid positive responses and friendships blooming, gives me the courage to keep having these picnics. It’s always also very exciting and thrilling because you’re inviting total strangers so you’re really waiting on the unexpected. It’s also become a lot easier to navigate each picnic even though the quantity is rapidly increasing.”
4. Where was your favourite strangers to friends picnic spot?
“I would say Camps Bay Beach, it was such a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Combined with all the wholesomeness, and the gorgeous sunset. Everything was just complimenting each other. The ocean on one side, the mountain on the other.”
5. You’re also a fabulous pastry chef. Do you think that food is an important part of building bonds?
“I genuinely believe food is an important building block, from finding common interests with types of food and recipes and places to eat especially in a culturally enriched city like Cape Town. To creating an informal yet warm environment for people to connect and reduce social isolation.
“It also is a hook to engage people, I’ve also used food to give people a warm welcome coming from the hospitality industry. Finding people with an appreciation for food has always been a connecting force in my experience. People love food and people love to eat! Also food makes people happy and when people are eating together it’s less intimidating, so it’s always a winner!”
6. Cape Town has always been stereotyped as cliquey. Do you think this is true, or that we’re just misunderstood as a city?
“I have heard this so many times but genuinely from my perspective especially now, I find people in Cape Town are surprisingly friendlier, so I’d definitely say they are misunderstood! I feel as if once people have found their group they stopped actively trying to grow that specific circle which can be seen as “cliquey”.
“But I have been invited into numerous groups that have been nothing but friendly and welcoming. I also believe from my experience, that there are more eager people who really want to connect and be involved. I’ve become friends with some amazing people who I continually am amazed by. I feel as if this idea that Cape Town is “cliquey” actually holds back a lot of individuals who have moved to Cape Town.”
7. The pandemic seriously shifted how a lot of us socialised. Do you think that we’re experiencing a social disconnect, especially in younger generations?
“Yes, most definitely but I also believe it stems further before the pandemic. I feel as if my generation (gen z) has given up on talking to people, talking to strangers, the people next to you on the bus or on the plane, the people in a shopping line, in an elevator. We’ve disconnected from reality, when in a line we’d rather sit on our phone or distract ourselves.
“We’ve somewhat made “talking to strangers” on a daily basis “cringey”. We stopped putting in the effort especially with the pandemic because not only was it so socially restricting but it halted us from connecting on a general basis which makes us miss out on the beauty of human connection, but also with the knowledge of mental health deterioration amongst my generation due to so many reasons we’ve somewhat also avoided coming back. At the root of all of us, we all genuinely crave human connection, we need people that is why it is imperative for community building opportunities especially post lockdowns.”
8. What advice do you have for people looking to meet new people in Cape Town especially?
“Don’t overthink it and just be open to the idea and all the people who are meant for you will be there. But in addition, my advice if for all the introverts and socially anxious people who come to the picnic events, freak out and leave – take a deep breath and ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen by just walking into the picnic- if that doesn’t work come find me, personally as someone you now know.
“And specifically for making friends in Cape Town – lastly just talk to strangers! You’d honestly be surprised in what a little courage can bring you.”
9. When is the next picnic and how can others get involved?
“It is still to be decided, strangers picnics to be held once a month. Follow my Instagram or TikTok for the date to be announced. People can be involved by taking to social media and promoting an experience and opportunity they won’t regret.”
TikTok: @molly.tarts
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Pictures: Ameera Hassen