Why place domestic abuse and domestic work next to each other? Because they are too intertwined to be analysed in isolation, writes Cape {town} Etc’s Robyn Simpson. And Netflix’s new series, Maid, has sparked a fire in my belly.
More than half of the South African population is female. That’s 30.5 million women. Nationally, 43 percent of children live with mothers only. 21 percent (one in five) of partnered women have experienced physical violence by a partner. There are a recorded 1 million domestic workers in South Africa.
These statistics are gathered from a 2018/2019 government statistics report, Stats SA.
Maid tells the tale of a lineage of domestic violence and a 25-year-old aspiring writer’s fight to find her way out. A drunk punch in a wall signals the start of Alex and her 2-year-old daughter’s journey — one which takes us from sleeping on the floor at a ferry station to a shelter for abused women and children.
This is a story about survival, scrubbing one faeces-filled toiled at a time. And still, that’s not the most vulgar thing you’ll watch.
My first lesson from Maid emphasises that the above mentioned statistics are nowhere near accurate, nor are they substantial.
The figures available to the public are generated on surveys completed by an undisclosed number of women. In addition, these stats fail to consider unofficial reports of abuse, poverty, emotional abuse, financial abuse, abuse that takes place in the workplace and unregistered domestic workers, to name a few under-researched points.
In 2019, Business Insider conducted a research project whereby 3 700 domestic workers were surveyed. Of these, 16 percent of the participants have been physically or emotionally abused at work. That’s 3 700 of the 1-million (registered) domestic workers in our country. Let that figure sink in.
Women for Change SA reported that that the Coronavirus pandemic only added fuel to the fire. Police Minister Bheki Cele announced that over 87 000 gender-based violence cases were reported to police after just eight days under lockdown. Cele did not confirm how many arrests were made in relation to the thousands of calls received.
On September 12, more than a year after the first lockdown announcement, President Cyril Ramaphosa addressed the nation in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Here, he acknowledged the country’s “second pandemic”: gender based violence. In his speech, he asked the men of South Africa to respect and protect women.
Mr Ramaphosa, abuse in South Africa is in no way “second” and a one-liner at the end of a national address for men to pretty-please stop abusing women is just not good enough — and again — fails to consider the depth and complexity of domestic violence (as well as broken systems which prevent women from reporting abuse at all).
South Africa, it is up to us to educate ourselves and stand up to the abuse against our country’s women and domestic workers. A good place to start could just be by watching Maid. For it’s in understanding our own thought and behaviour patterns that we might be able to take a step towards change.
Are you perpetuating abuse without being aware of it?
Lessons learned from Netflix’s Maid:
1. Abuse comes in many forms
Maid throws the slippery slope of abuse into the spotlight, and emphasises the importance of acknowledging emotional abuse in particular.
Whether it is physical, emotional or takes any other form, abuse often follows an escalating pattern in which the controlling behaviours worsen over time, reports Women Against Abuse.
“I dare you to watch Maid and tell me that that’s not domestic violence,” says the author who inspired the series, Molly Smith Metzler.
Women Against Abuse recognises the following, but not limited to, forms of domestic abuse:
- Physical abuse
- Emotional abuse
- Financial abuse
- Abuse by immigration status
- Spiritual abuse
- Use of children
- Sexism
- Homophobia
- Heterosexism
Any of the above behaviours may be used to control or exert power over a partner, and they may be part of a larger cycle of violence and reconciliation.
2. The way out is more of a maze than a tunnel of light: context
3. All domestic workers should wear capes (1 000 000: 65 000)
South Africa is a nation largely dependent on the assistance of domestic workers. Compare our 1 million registered domestic workers to that of other countries and it becomes a lot clearer.
According to the Office for National Statistics from the 2012 Labour Force Survey, about 65 000 people are employed as domestic workers by households in the UK.
Maid takes us behind the scenes of what it means to to be a domestic worker. It’s one women’s story that might just be the voice for millions in South Africa. And this is not to shove individual struggles under the same umbrella. Rather, it’s a taste of a life that many households never get to witness — the existence of the unknown world of the woman who shows up at your doorstep every morning ready to clean up your mess for R19.09 per hour.
R19.09 per hour or R3 000 per month is the minimum wage for domestic workers in South Africa, however, according to Business Tech, many aren’t afforded this rate, earning between R2,614 and R2,916 a month on average.
Maid offers viewers an opportunity to consider the women that we so often take for granted, and acknowledge the abuse that they are subjected to: physical, emotional, financial. It’s an inside look into the world of women who cannot afford to eat yet throw out your waste, leave their children at home sick to take care of your own. The women who wake up at 3am to catch a taxi so that you can get to work in your car by 9am, knowing that your child is safely cared for at home.
The Netflix series is not the first time art has brought me to this topic. Mary Sibande is a South African artist who has been screaming at the top of her lungs for some time now. Her early works are iconic. They take on an alter-ego persona by the name of ‘Sophie’, who is dressed in various uniforms resembling dresses worn by domestic workers.
Sibande’s work not only engages as an interrogator of the current intersections of race, gender and labour in South Africa; but continues to actively rewrite her own family’s legacy of forced domestic work imposed by the then Apartheid State.
It is evident that the systems our country has in place to protect the women of South Africa are not effective. And those who have been brave enough to raise their concerns must have blistered throats and weary voices.
So, Cape {town} Etc family, let us implement our own protocols — starting at home.
We all need to do better, and perhaps, that begins with acknowledging our privileges and doing right by those who are not afforded the same basics rights that we have become accustomed to: feeling safe and protected, financial security, emotional support.
Pay domestic workers what they are due, share what you can, wash your own dirty underwear, teach your children to speak with respect, and honour the women who so often act as the glue which keeps your family together, your children cared for, your partners fed.
Resources by the Warrior Project
Emergency contacts:
- GBV Command Centre 0800 428 428 or *120*7867#
- Police 10111
- Crime Stop Anonymous Helpline 08600 10111
- SMS Crime Line 32211
- Rape Crisis 021 447 9762
- Suicide Helpline 0800 567 567
- Human Trafficking Helpline 0800 222 777
- Thuthuzela Care Centres for Victims of Rape and Sexual Assault
- GPS Safety App (Namola)
Helplines:
- Free Legal Helpline (LawForAll) 0860 333 353
- Free Legal Advice on WhatsApp (LawForAll) 063 603 3759
- Stop Domestic Violence Helpline (Lifeline) 0800 150 150
- Childline 0800 055 555
- Report Child Abuse and request call back: SMS ‘help’ to 31022
- Report Abuse of Persons with Disabilities: SMS ‘help’ to 31531
- HIV/Aids Helpline 0800 012 322
Shelters:
Understanding abusive relationships:
National and Local Aid Organisations:
- Family and Marriage Association of SA (FAMSA)
- Al-Anon Family Groups 0861 252 666
- Tears (JHB) 010 590 5920 or *134*7355
- POWA (JHB) 076 694 5911
- Lawyers Against Abuse (JHB)
- The Trauma Centre (CT)
- MOSAIC (CT) 021 761 7585
- Ilitha Labantu (Gugulethu)
- The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG)
Legal Aid Organisations:
- Legal Resources Centre
- Women’s Legal Centre
- Legal Aid South Africa
- Lady Liberty
- Refugee Rights Clinic (CT)
Documents:
- Duties of the Police
- DIY Safety Plan
- Notice to Complainant/Victim (J471E)
- Application for Protection Order (J480E)
- The Domestic Violence Act (DVA)
- Children’s Book explaining Complex Childhood Trauma
- The Constitution of the Republic of South Africa (Bill of Rights at Chapter 2)
- World Health Organisation Report : Preventing Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Against Women
- United Nations Report: Global Study on Homicide: Gender-related Killing of Women and Girls
For more information:
- The Warrior Project
- Women Against Abuse
- Rape Crisis
- TEARS
- Rise Against Domestic Violence
- Silent Rights
- People Opposed to Woman Abuse
- Childline South Africa
- Families South Africa
- The Jes Foord Foundation
Also read:
Picture: Mary Sibande (They don’t make them like they used to) / Screenshot