As we commemorate World Mental Health Day, it is crucial that we stop ignoring the elephant in the room and discuss our well-being without fear of ridicule or persecution.
Murray Swart writes that seeking help for a mental illness or substance abuse disorder should be seen as a sign of strength rather than weakness.
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We all lie to keep up appearances. The phone rings and there is an unfamiliar voice on the other end.
You can tell that the person on the other end is trying to sell you something from the unknown number, the background noise and the pause before they start speaking.
Feeling somewhat annoyed by the rude interruption, you already know you aren’t interested but you keep listening anyway.
‘Good day, how are you?’ asks the caller as they read it from the list of numbers, cunningly acquired from goodness knows where.
The person mispronounces your name as they ask to speak to you but you stay on the line.
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ you respond by default, following social norms, lying to the unwanted caller, yourself and anyone within earshot.
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You know it’s not true but any other response to this rhetorical question might be interpreted as a complaint, weakness or simply too honest to be socially acceptable.
Truth be told, you’re not fine. You’re tired, stressed and worried about life in general.
You feel unloved, unappreciated, overworked and underpaid. You are pessimistic about a future you may still choose to avoid.
‘How am I?’ you think to yourself. ‘Well, to be honest, life pretty much sucks at the moment.’
The world is falling to pieces. You’re struggling to keep your head above water and wish things were different.
The space you are in feels like a zoo. There is an elephant in the room and a monkey on my back but I can’t tell the caller about that.
It’s just not the person you portray myself to be on social media. You make sure to smile in every photograph but it isn’t real.
In fact, it isn’t a smile at all. It’s you, biting your tongue and clenching your jaw to keep the truth from coming out.
You’re not fine but know that you may be stigmatised, judged and accused of complaining about something that’s all in your head.
The person on the other end may think you are weak and pathetic, weird or broken, different, sick, strange or inadequate.
They will probably find your self-loathing and brutal honesty unsettling.
Life has thrown you too many curve balls and you feel abnormal. You wish you could be happy, healthy and productive.
You just wish you were normal, like everyone else.
Guess what, you are more normal than you think. It’s okay to not be okay and the sooner we are honest, the better.
Today marks World Mental Health Day and it’s time we start being truthful with ourselves and others.
These conditions are far more prevalent than you may think but sadly, they remain taboo in many sectors of society.
Sure, we talk about them, but mostly in the third person. Nobody wants to be different, miserable and often unpleasant to be around.
Nobody wants to feel sorry for themselves and if they do, nobody must find out about it. We don’t want to be limited by something that’s ‘all in your head’ or for ‘choosing’ to be unhappy.
For fear of judgement and persecution, we don’t talk about mental health, especially not on a personal level.
You might see yourself as crazy and don’t want others to be able to agree.
However, mental illness is rampant and nothing to be ashamed of.
According to the National Institute of Health, nearly one in six South Africans suffer from anxiety, mood and substance disorders. Just shy of a third of the country’s population has experienced a mood disorder of some kind.
There are 14 000 suicides in South Africa per year, and while there is no data on the rate of attempted suicides, it is estimated that approximately 280 000 people try to take their own lives on an annual basis.
These numbers are absolutely startling and continuously climbing. They will continue to do so until we stop being courteous and start being honest with ourselves and others.
Attitudes towards mental health conditions should be no different than those towards diabetes. It’s not your fault if you suffer from either.
These ailments are manageable with the right combination of medication, therapy, exercise, diet and routine.
If you think you need help, don’t bottle it up. Say something. Do something. Don’t be afraid to seek help. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
The reality is that complacency is a far bigger killer than any of these conditions.
We also need to hold the government accountable and demand that they get their act together by providing desperately needed mental health facilities.
These are in short supply and largely inaccessible to the poor and many of those who need them the most.
Shockingly, the Western Cape has less than 2 000 beds across its four psychiatric hospitals, serving an estimated population of 7 million.
If we really want to see a dramatic change, we also need to stop treating drug addicts like criminals.
In many cases, substance abuse is not the cause of mental illness but rather a symptom.
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However, law enforcement would rather have these patients as prisoners to beef up their crime stats with easy arrests.
In August, LEAP officers made 1 160 arrests, a quarter of which were firearm-related and an additional 16 for dealing in drugs.
In the process, 680 people were found with drugs in their possession, arrested and processed at taxpayers’ expense.
The majority of these will go completely untreated for mental illness or substance abuse disorder and are likely to be back on drugs at their earliest convenience.
They will be little more than packing peanuts to make police and politicians look good and appear tough on crime.
It’s time we address the elephant in the room and the monkey on many a back.
Listen. Don’t judge. Be honest, show compassion and speak up.
As Dr Phil says, ‘You can’t change what you won’t acknowledge.’
Most importantly, if someone asks you how you are doing, speak up and tell them.
Help is available if you or a loved one are struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues. Below is a list of contact numbers available to those who need to reach out to somebody:
- Suicide Crisis Line: 0800 567 567, SMS 31393
- SADAG Mental Health Line: 011 234 4837
Dr Reddy’s Help Line: 0800 21 22 23 Adcock Ingram Depression and Anxiety Helpline: 0800 70 80 90 Pharmadynamics Police & Trauma Line: 0800 20 50 26 Destiny Helpline for Youth & Students: 0800 41 42 43 Department of Social Development Substance Abuse Line 24hr helpline: 0800 12 13 14, SMS 32312 ADHD Helpline: 0800 55 44 33- Akeso Psychiatric Response Unit 24 Hour: 0861 435 787
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