The Springboks can’t just pull rabbits out of their hats every time South Africa is in the deepest of despair. Gasant Abarder writes in this #SliceofGasant column that President Cyril Ramaphosa’s presence at the final – trying to hog all the celebratory pictures – served only to gaslight the nation. Where have you been all this time, Cyril?
Abarder, who recently launched his book, Hack with a Grenade, is among the country’s most influential media voices. Catch his weekly column here.
The Springboks have done it once again. The Green and Gold keep lifting the country out of its misery – this time winning back-to-back Rugby World Cups and the first nation to reach four titles.
We celebrated hard and why not? I’ve gone hoarse since. And it occurred to me also there may be two possibilities at play: firstly, South Africans have a crap load of Springbok merchandise, or they were wearing their Bok shirts on Bok Friday, Match Saturday and Babalas Sunday.
The very nice smelling chap at the fragrance counter at Clicks suggested to me it was the latter – that as a nation we’re not just Bok befok but we also have no qualms about smelling like Bok! He certainly smelled it and I smelled it too as the blaaie I passed at Canal Walk on Sunday after our win proved.
But something was different in the wake of this win. There didn’t seem to be the same kind of euphoria that followed the victories of 1995, 2007 and 2019.
On Monday morning, barely 36 hours after South Africa was crowned World Champs, there were scowls on the faces of people in their cars in traffic and an aunty wouldn’t let me get out of my driveway, overtaking on the left as I tried to close the driveway gate.
I can’t blame South Africans for the short-lived joy but if I had to choose a side – a kant – it would be against our President Cyril Ramaphosa.
I last saw him during live broadcasts during COVID-19 lockdowns, telling me not to wear sloffies or eat Woolies chicken. Imagine my surprise seeing him in the stands at the Stade de France.
Being there at our expense is a big up yours to the nation, Cyril. He keeps asking us to roll up our sleeves and make the country work. But if I roll up my sleeves any more, my shirt will be a vest.
I don’t body shame but for me, Cyril, as a fat cat politician, is fair game. While the rest of us are battling to make ends meet, it looks as if our president is battling to make the ends of the waistband of his pants meet.
Now it’s clear why there has been a shortage of eggs and the price of eggs has gone wild. Cyril has been eating them!
Cyril has also solved the mystery of why Nike South Africa hit the snooze button and forgot to make enough supporter shirts for the World Cup. Turns out, Nike isn’t to blame. For all the promises of walking on the Sea Point Promenade and looking after our health and wellness, Nike had to use all the fabric available to make Cyril a shirt.
(Also, the prices of these shirts are ridiculous and the awful knockoffs are even more ridiculous!)
Cyril was everywhere when the Webb Ellis Cup was handed to our Captain Marvel, Siya Kolisi. When the trophy was handed to Cheslin Kolbe, he was photobombing too. He was in the picture too when Eben Etzebeth lifted the cup. And Kurt-Lee Arendse also couldn’t have his moment in the sun without Cyril muscling in.
And as soon as we won, loadshedding was back. For a moment, I thought the French were in on it too because after the victory celebration, the stadium went dark. But it was, of course for their impressive fireworks display.
On a personal side note, seeing Kurt-Lee’s success – the young man the late Chester Williams found in a modest part of Paarl and brought to the University of the Western Cape (UWC) – was so satisfying.
Kurt-Lee’s rise has been meteoric. Chester saw something in the young man that the rest of the country has benefited from.
I remember Kurt-Lee’s first match at UCT’s Green Mile in a new Varsity Cup Cape Town derby, as UWC had just been promoted to the premier university rugby competition. Kurt-Lee had a blinder as the newbies ran the Ikeys close. Kurt-Lee never played for UWC again after the game because the Bok Sevens came knocking.
The Bulls had the foresight to sign him and it was only a matter of time before he was a full 15s Springbok. After Kurt-Lee returned from his first Bok Sevens tour, he rushed out of the airport and journos asked him where he was going. ‘I’m going home, to UWC,’ he replied matter-of-factly.
As a full Bok, he still came to games at the university and even showed my son around the stadium. The teenager still talks about it. Chester was elated for the young man. But in private, he scratched his head as he had built much of his game plan around the flying winger for ball-in-hand rugby.
Thank goodness for Rassie Erasmus and Jacques Nienaber – apart from their incredible service to South Africa – for picking world talents like Kolbe and Kurt-Lee who otherwise wouldn’t have had a look in because of the obsession of previous coaches with size. Thanks to the late Chester for identifying Kurt-Lee.
And thanks, Cyril – for nothing!
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Picture: @CyrilRamaphosa / X