In this #SliceofGasant, columnist Gasant Abarder explains how a lone tweeter challenged him over a rape allegation hanging over the head of Cristiano Ronaldo and how it reminded him why he can’t be selective – even when his heroes are accused of injustice.
Abarder, who recently launched his book, Hack with a Grenade, is among the country’s most influential media voices. Catch his weekly column here, exclusive to Cape {town} Etc.
“Ag nay man, Ronaldo!” This saying – in a heavy Cape Flats accent – is what a colleague and I used to say when things go pear-shaped. The saying is from a fight in the stands at a Newlands rugby match many seasons ago.
A video shows a stray punch hitting a woman bystander, before her head hits a bench as she falls. It is difficult to watch. Then another woman shouts the infamous line at the thrower of the punch. The line and how it is delivered does somehow, years later, bring levity to an awful situation.
This week’s column was going to call for Police Minister Bheki Cele’s head. After the disastrous response to wholesale looting and anarchy where scores died, it was followed up by him declaring last week that between April and June this year there were about 30 000 rapes in South Africa.
That is just three months and an average of 111 rapes a day. It is staggering and completely unacceptable. Any self-respecting Minister should resign but here we just don’t have that kind of culture of accountability, do we? This column is still about rape. But it is also about Ronaldo. Cristiano Ronaldo. Bear with me on this little detour…
On Friday, I followed with interest how Manchester City fans were claiming the signing of the European Summer (some will argue that it already happened with Lionel Messi to Paris Saint Germain – a column for another day). Then I watched the pendulum swing to the red side of Manchester. I was out having supper at that restaurant for people with a taste for life, when the official announcement was made by Manchester United.
It broke Twitter and Instagram. I lost my mind too. I choked on my onion rings that aren’t really ring-shaped. Cristiano Ronaldo was coming home to the Theatre of Dreams. I made it my job to tell every waitron and patron who cared to listen. I did Ronaldo’s signature celebration between the booths like a Muppet!
On Saturday, I decided that I’d have Ronaldo’s name on the back of my newly purchased Man United home shirt and whatever number he would be given. I mentioned I was so excited I may have peed my pants a little on hearing news of the announcement.
Then, there was a lone tweet that started bugging me about a rape allegation hanging over the player’s head. I chose to ignore it and on Sunday, just ahead of the Man United game, Jared Chaitowitz tweeted at me again when I mentioned Ronaldo’s signing. It got under my skin. I’m glad it did too.
The problem with calling out injustice is you can’t be selective.
I rag Mark Boucher all the time for the racism allegation against him. I call out Education MEC Debbie Schäfer for her inaction to such an extent that she mentioned me by name in the Western Cape Legislature last week. I called out Ryan Giggs, despite being a fan boy, when he was accused of assaulting a woman.
Now, some may argue that Ronaldo is a footballer and didn’t ask to be a role model. But that is wrong. The context isn’t as important as much as the message is, in this case.
Ronaldo was a young man when the allegations were first made. There was an out-of-court settlement with damages paid. That is smoke! Innocent people don’t settle out of court. He has had years to clear the air but there is still a cloud as his accuser wants to sue for damages in a civil case.
Back in South Africa, we have dangerous levels of rape culture, male privilege and victim shaming. No means yes. She was drinking and wearing a skimpy outfit and thus asking for it. The rules are somehow fuzzy for men: for example, why do I need consent to have sex with my wife?
But it is rape every time there aren’t consenting adults. I emphasise: Adults! It was rape when 1 000 girls aged between 10 and 14 got pregnant last year (of 24 000 teenage pregnancies in a single province). It is rape when a wife says no and a husband feels it is his lawful right to force himself.
Thank you, Jared, for reminding me there is more to life than football. I will keep my shirt blank this season. No more Ronaldo social media posts because that would be an endorsement of sorts. I will watch him play quietly. Outside of those white lines – for me at least – it’s “Ag nay man, Ronaldo!”
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Picture: Instagram