There’s something about an intelligent person that just makes you feel some type of way. Furthermore, if someone isn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the pencil case, your intrigue, despite their potentially delicious looks, just seems to fade away. Why are you like this? Well, tender curious mind, you may just be a sapiosexual.
As we know, there’s a myriad of sexual orientations and identifications that now have names. Bisexual, heterosexual, pansexual and the spectrum continues. However, while the sapiosexual domain is lesser known, it is still a very present sexual orientation/preference.
So, what is it all about?
Of course you’d like to know you cheeky intellectual.
The term gained traction back in 2014, when publication OKCupid indicated it as a new term in the ‘dictionary’ of sexual orientations.
Essentially, a sapiosexual is someone who sees a person’s intelligence as the most “valued trait in romance,” as VICE writes. According to Dr. Becky Spelman, a psychologist and clinical director of The Private Therapy Clinic who spoke to Glamour, this is when the term fits your shoe of sexuality.
When “someone finds another person’s intelligence attractive or arousing”, and that intellectual attraction is the most important factor in terms of intimacy, then sapiosexuality enters the conversation.
In a nutshell, intelligence is the main course. It doesn’t matter how beautiful, rich, charming or hilarious someone may be, as these are just appetisers compared to what you’re really hungry for. In short, if someone’s brain doesn’t delight you, then they’re not going to invite you into their lives or anywhere else further.
So, if I find intelligence a turn on, that means I’m sapiosexual?
Not entirely. Remember, any sexuality is a spectrum.
As Dr. Becky explains:
“There are aspects of sapiosexuality present if we refuse to date anyone possessing anything less than high intelligence but if we also look at other physical aspects or qualities in the other person, then we cannot be said to be truly sapiosexual,”
Thus, for a pure sapiosexual, the focus is entirely on intellect. But you can have sapiosexual tendencies if you’re able to factor in other elements of attraction, with intelligence being one of the main points.
What are some turn ons for sapio sexuals?
VICE asked pure sapiosexuals what gets their fire going, and the answers ranged from photographic memories, to scientific minds, to feeling like someone is stroking their brain in stimulating conversations, or dropping knowledge bombs, or curiosity toward the world. There isn’t one kind of intelligence, and so your definition of intellect might be different to someone else’s. Almost all of the subjects expressed that looks just seemed to fade away when they honed in on what was really attracting them to someone – or not.
What are some criticisms of sapiosexuality?
That it isn’t a real sexual orientation, or that perhaps it’s pretentious. It’s also been nodded as a fetish, which isn’t exactly correct.
What would sapiosexuality look like in an actual relationship?
Picture a vast threshold of communicating, a lot of learning from each other and mental stimulation that turns into other kinds of stimulation (winks).