As a woman, I’ve often felt pressurised to ‘look’ a certain way to meet society’s impossible standards, writes Cape {town} Etc’s Micayla Vellai. How to dress, how to act, what our interests should be, what we should look like – I’ve grappled with the mould of what is deemed ‘appropriate’ in society.
Social media played a big role in defining how I wanted to look, or rather, needed to look. I spent hours scrolling, comparing myself to someone whose social handle I don’t even remember anymore. What I do remember is admiring the ‘perfect physique,’ but what did those words even mean to me?
But then I discovered CrossFit and everything changed…
While the world prepared to tackle the challenge of lockdown in March 2020, I was preparing to tackle a challenge of my own – breaking the stereotypes and social constructs, and exploring what my version of a ‘body type’ meant. And after embarking on this journey (with difficulty), I began to realise how the body is not merely an object, but a tool of performance.
This shift in mindset came about after I started lifting weights, and as I grew stronger, I found it fascinating how one body can be pushed to the point of extremity.
I started to feel the excitement when my muscles slowly began forming, and over time, I decided to snap a few photos of my progress, along with the caption:
“The biggest misconception: Building muscle doesn’t make you sexy, feminine or desirable. For the longest time I’ve been a slave to society’s version of what it is to look and feel good. It’s taken me a long time to reach this point of confidence and even longer to form a deep and meaningful relationship with myself. I emphasize on this a lot but self-love is really so important. How you feel when you look into the mirror is important. Being kind to yourself is important.”
The support I received was overwhelming… And those few comments by people who said I’m losing my ‘femininity’? Well, I brushed it off in two ticks. Maybe because I didn’t fit the definition of what it is to be ‘desirable’. A jacked back, trainers and activewear is frowned upon, but short skirts, tight jeans and a crop top is a big thumbs up! Is this really what ‘desirable’ means?
In light of Women’s Month, I find it so important to be true to yourself as a woman. Shake the world, break those conventions, become the person that you choose. For me, it was working towards looking and feeling stronger. And working relentlessly towards making that woman proud…
These are some of the women I admire in the world of CrossFit:
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“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me” – Ayn Rand.
Also read:
Self-care: why it’s so important for both your mental and physical health
Picture: Unsplash